Friday, April 12, 2013

How to send anything to the future.

'People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect. But actually from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey... stuff' - Doctor Who


(P.S - Apologies for the tenses in this post. Tenses are rather difficult for a time traveler.)


 'Time is an Illusion' said Albert Einstein.

The knowledge that time is an illusion has made this whole business of sending gifts to my future self really easy and convenient. Before my discovery, I had to be content with gifts from other people...which sometimes never even came. I could only trust myself to get me the gift I wanted, and to have it delivered 'on time'.

This is the story of how I discovered that time is an illusion and that I could, in fact, send things forward in time to myself. 

A few years ago, I lost my driving license and I had to apply for a new one. This is a great start to the story...right. It's funny how mundane activities lead to great discoveries. In my country, the new driver's license is sent to your local post-office for collection. A few days later, by a stroke of good policing, my previously lost license was found and  I was called to pick it up at the local police station. With the receipt of my old license, I continued on with normal life, completely forgetting about the new license I had applied for.

Fast forward to two years later and my previously lost but found license is now old and in tatters but I am too lazy to get a new one. I was paying a visit to my local post office and you will never guess what I found waiting for me.....you guessed it.....a gift from the past...from me. I received a brand new but old, exact copy, of my tattered license! I had inadvertently sent a gift to my future self. And it arrived 'just in time' for me to dodge a trip to government offices....which are always necessary to avoid.

Now...I know what you are thinking. You think that this can be blamed on my forgetfulness....or my failure to visit the post office more often...but I beg to differ. If you understand that time is an illusion and that the only moment that exists is 'the now' you will then understand that it is possible and actually quite easy to send items forward through time. The proof is the new but old license in my possession.

I realized that the actions and thoughts of my 'now' are directly influencing the 'now' of my futureself. I am now very careful to only send good things to my futureself.

 The plot thickens. Having realized the ability to send things forward in time..I embarked or am embarking on a project to send items back in time. This is especially relevant to me because I need my future rich self to send me back some cash for rent. I have already sent a letter forward in time indicating as much. He knows.

My project has been moderately successful. I am not yet able to receive physical items from the future (like the said rent money) but I have had success with receiving electronic information from the future where I am quite wealthy.

You want proof? The proof is that the Attache's desk only exists in my future and yet you are reading it in what you perceive as you present.

3 comments:

  1. HAHAHAHAHA...This sounds like something written under the influence of the great green 'erb!!
    An overindulged piece that can be summarized in one line in the article..."I realized that the actions and thoughts of my 'now' are directly influencing the 'now' of my futureself."

    Keep em coming!!

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  2. I write to overindulge. I live to send things to the future.

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  3. I got a message for your future self: Ask him to send me an unlimited credit card billed to him! :-)
    All we have is now, I totally agree.

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